Burning Memory

Simply leave the curtain down
He said
Then wiped his eyes
Sorrow followed
He didn’t want to make her sad
There’s just —

A storm is going on out there
And I can’t face it yet
Not soon
Too soon
It is
He said —

Do you like to torture me
With those bright and greedy fingers
Leaving my skin burning
Leaving me traumatized
Once more —

I can’t stand the heat again
Burning my eyes
Burning my hands
I see the torture
The terror
The pain
But I can’t do anything to stop it —

I lie to me every single time
I can’t live with those lies
I can’t live without them —

I need to tell them to understand
That I’m guilty —

I say
I couldn’t do anything
But that’s a lie —

I could have done something
I even wasn’t unable —

The truth would be
I didn’t want to
But I can’t admit that
Not yet
Never perhaps
That’s up to future generations —

My name will live in shame —

So for my own sanity —

If there is any left —

I need to hide.

        © Dominik Alexander / 2023

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